Circular Detours

Continued from 'Detours in NE Portland.'...

Another showing with the Monastery Artist Collective was in full swing. She was ‘dressed to the nines’ in a favorite short blue dress that puffed out from her waist. It was perfect for twirling around the dance floor on. Once it bounced to electronica in Connecticut as she kicked her feet around the annual Dance ‘til Dawn event. However, this night was more of a usual occurrence in Manchester, New Hampshire. 

I never truly embraced the beauty of this urban neighborhood until the final walk back to Killingsworth.  Not only leaving behind this decrepit duplex, stressful employment situation and a campus reminiscent of the Truman Show; but also, many nights of reckless abandon in various states of mind. This would be my last walk down in which I would really be alone. In just a few short weeks my belly would deflate and a new life would become continually present. 

The memories that raced into vision that day were overwhelming. It was the end of an era as I had never truly experienced. Yes, I changed upon moving out of my parent’s house in high school, and again when first stepping foot on the train that took me across the country. Teaching in SE Asia was a truly unique experience that forever changed my perspective of suffering. Especially after transferring from New Hampshire back to the West Coast where I met more privileged youth than I had ever known before.  Yet, now I was really transitioning into a new phase of life that would affect every moment from this point forward.  

I wrote this two years ago, 9 months pregnant and on the first day of maternity leave. It was discovered in a forgotten folder while revising my resume for another venture. Every year of my life has been so incredibly different for over a decade and I am still wrapping my head around everything. I often find humor in mentioning a story from past to co-workers who only know my present self. They are shocked to discover that I used to have dread-locks, dumpster dive, and stay up for days in a row just making art with friends. It’s quite hilarious to me. They only see the responsible mother who I am now, but so much has brought me to this point.